My dear Lord Krishna,
Please give me the strength to be able to accept my lot in life with equilibrium, both good and bad. And allow me to accept all that which is not my lot in life with equilibrium. And please give me the wisdom to know the difference between what is my lot in life and what is others.
Please give me the strength to do my duty while accepting my karma, both good and bad. Please give me the wisdom to understand other people's duty and to accept what is their karma, both good and bad.
This is one of the toughest things that I have done in my life. It goes against every notion that I have heard from science, social justice movements, my friends. But I have suffered so much listening to all these other people. Finally, with no other recourse to understanding this world around me in relation to my life, I have come to You. The language that you speak in the Bhagavad-gita makes the most sense to me. It allows me to digest all that is going on in the world around me. It gives me a consistent context through which to understand huge chunks of reality. And I write this I feel somewhat guilty.
I am no one. I am no saint or a self-realized soul. I am just an individual who has suffered greatly while living in this world and is trying to find a way to cope with all that I see and hear. I feel a certain self-righteousness in writing these words. I feel a certain level of pride. I feel somewhat holy. I feel godly in a way. I feel divine. But I feel pretentious as well. I feel like I am trying to be something that I am not. And I know that amidst all these contradictions is me. I won't be able to explain enough of myself to make everyone happy. And I pray to you to help me. Give me the intelligence to not even try.