Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Profile of a female Nepali sociopath

The most famous sociopath currently in Nepal is not a Nepali citizen. His name is Charles Sobhraj. Sociopaths wreak chaos in all kinds of societies. Nepal is not an exception.

Sociopaths in a lot of ways are like ghosts. They are dead in terms of being able to have normal human relationships. But they don't know that they are dead. Like a ghost, a sociopath, in trying to have normal human relationships causes more disturbance than good. 

Remember, both men and women can be sociopaths. Below is a fictional account of the inner thoughts of a female Nepali sociopath.

I'm good. I'm very good. I know all the right buttons to push in people. No one can stop me and no one can touch me. I know how to get my way no matter what. I'm strong and tough. People think I'm human, but I'm not. I don't have that kind of capacity to feel. But the fact that I still look human works for me. The fact that in a place like Nepal where there is little to no knowledge of what a sociopath is, I am pretty much untouchable.

Besides, I have money, I am smart and I am well-connected. This allows me to wreak chaos in the lives of people around me without anyone being able to do anything about it. I like the position that I am in.

In a place like Kathmandu, this works very well. Kathmandu-culture is very ill suited to deal with a sociopath like me. Everyone there is too busy being bhaladmi to handle someone like me.

Yes my position is of an enviable nature. I can pretty much do whatever I want to whomever around me and no one can do anything about it. I know how to push all the right buttons in people. That is my game. I get people feeling defensive. I know how to get people all flustered.
I'm just that good at playing this game. And it works every time. Do you know why? My power is that I can get uglier than the people around me. They have a conscience. I don't.

For all intensive purposes, I am a social terrorist. I can go to any length to get my way. I can hurt anyone for any degree as long as I get my way.
The unfortunate thing is that I get bored with life. So even when I get my way, it only satisfies me for sometime. Then I need to change my game just to keep things interesting. I then find a different victim to exploit.
For me, life is a jungle where there are dozens and dozens of decent human beings that I can harass, exploit, lie to and have fun and entertain myself with at their expense. The fun part for me is that they can't do anything about it. Why? Because they have things like their conscience and feelings of shame and dignity to worry about. Me, I'm a sociopath. I don't have to worry about any of that. Who has time to worry about something silly like your conscience or of other people getting hurt by your actions when you're having so much fun?

I am virtually an animal. Truth be told, I am an animal in a human's body. This works really well. Just like a wolf in sheep's clothing can cause all kinds of chaos, me, an animal, in a human's body can cause all kinds of harm amongst people who try to relate with me as a human being.

No one can compete with me. I can take any shape I want at any time. I can get aggressive and scream and yell when I need to. Then when I feel a little trapped I can cry like a baby and play the victim and complain that other people hurt me.
I can get away with doing all these things because there are people around me who still think that I am normal. But I'm not. I am a sociopath. I don't feel like normal people do. I don't love or care. For me, it is just about me. I need to win at all cost. I'm trapped in the shell of my own body. And I am suffocating. I feel so restricted. I don't feel peace from any where. I feel so much pain that I have no problem hurting and causing pain in other people's lives. I don't feel their emotions. For me all the pain I cause is all in a day of fun. If I am so miserable within myself, why should other people outside of me be happy?

I am slippery as an eel. No one can catch me. And even if they do, I can scream bloody murder in such a way that I can make the people who catch me seem like the criminal. I'm just that good.

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