Wednesday, February 1, 2012

How defensive parenting protects children's sensitivity and vulnurability

Warning: This is an attempt at dark humor.


Dear Parent,

There are many of you who live your lives like you wished your child would commit suicide. This letter is to you. 
Convincing your child that they should commit suicide is not easy. It will require persistence on your part. Be determined and stay positive.

Children are born strong and full of hope. So you're going to have to work to wear that away and crush their spirit.

The main thing to wear away is their sense of hope over the long run. To do that, you need to do two things for them as young as they are:
1) Try to set up expectations for their life very high. Promise them the world.
2) Show them what kind of people are worthy of rejection in society, people they should never aspire to be.

Your job is to then, through your actions, arrange your child's life in such a way that they fall way below the expectations you have set for them. Over the long run your child should be able to identify themselves more in relation to the people that you reject and less with the dreams that you painted your child should achieve. This is a very necessary condition for depression.

To be a candidate for suicide, your child needs to get to the point of not finding strength and support externally and internally. This is a tall order. Don't give up hope, keep working and you will achieve.

As far as removing all their external support, this is tough. Your child can find hope from many different places: from friends of the family, relatives, teachers, etc. Please make sure that they don't. Warn them that all else apart from you are out to harm them. Isolate your child so that they look only to you for support.
Your job is to leave them feeling like they have no resources that they can rely on and that they have no one that they can turn to for support.

Now comes the subject of them finding inner support. What could you do to remove that?
Well, it is very important for your child to have a general feeling of meaninglessness in their life. There are many ways to achieve this. In general try to keep your child's consciousness at a surface level. Don't let them discover any driving purpose or deep meaning to their lives. This makes them more influence-able by  you.

Any time they are thinking deeply on any subject or trying to find meaning to their lives, laugh at them. Make fun of them. Make them an example of foolishness. This will discourage them. That is what you want. You don't want them finding any support that has nothing to do with you.

But, if your child is cunning, like most children are, they are probably pretty resourceful and will find other ways to harness their inner strength. Be wary of all these sources of strength for your child. You are going to have to destroy each of these separately. For example, your child could have a lot of will-power, positive memories, friends, faith in divinity, etc. Remember: these are your worst enemies. Search and destroy them as soon as you see your child display any symptoms of these.  Work hard and don't give up. These are like diseases that you have to work hard to cleanse from your child's psyche.

The above diseases grow in strength when you provide a safe and loving home. So you should never be consistent with your child. A child becomes inwardly stronger on stability and love. Naturally, this means that you should keep your house terrorized with unpredictability.

Constantly change your child's school and environment while they grow up. This will ensure they don't have any strong friendships as an adult. This degree of isolation where they feel that no one can relate to them and no one cares for them or understands them is necessary for suicidal feelings to arise in your child. Do all you can to get them there.

Once you have managed to isolate them, try to keep them in that place. Don't feel like you can't control your child just because they live far from you. If you have the phone number to their apartment, try to call there when you know your child is not there but their roommates are. Then tell you child's room mate all the sensitive subjects that your child is dealing with in their life. Naturally, the roommate's eye will open up in embarrassed inquisitiveness to be privy to such juicy details. Make your child's roommate your best friend. Use them to share information about your child. This will give you remote-control over your child's activity.

If your child confronts you about telling all of their secrets to their roommate,  protest parental pain. Tell your child that you couldn't sleep all night long out of concern for your child and you just had to get a few things off of your chest to find peace within yourself. What loving child could have an adequate response to that?

Also, wear away any positive memories that they might have as a child of friends, relatives, teachers or anyone else that they might rely on for moral support apart from you. If your child feels nostalgic towards any positive memories, erase them by distorting facts and telling them that they are living in the fairy tale reality of the past that no longer exists. Tell them to grow up. Show them all the ugliness, family politics, and how the world is a dog-eat-dog reality where everyone needs to be more vicious than the person next to them.

Tell them, "All your relatives want to harm you. Don't rely on anyone else other than me. All your positive memories from childhood is an illusion. Please discard them."

Do all the above to leave your child with a very cynical, random and meaningless perspective of reality. To be able to do this effectively you have to describe life and it's solutions and how they should live in as vague terms as possible. You want them to come to the conclusion that 'their life sucks' on their own accord, when they are alone and morose.
To do all the above effectively, you have to first paint a super-rosy picture of where the child can hope for nothing but success and happiness in their life. Set their childhood in such a way that they really believe that they are entitled to this. Make them practically taste it by the colorful dreams you paint for them. Remember, you're doing all of this so that your child's shock of not achieving this dream is all the more traumatic.

But for your child to trust your intentions, first you are going to have to get them to trust you. Speak softly to them. Smile. Be their friend. Gossip. Let your child be filled with warm feelings towards you. The more attached your child is to you, the more fun you will have watching their heart shatter. It will be priceless.

But I do have some warnings for you. Children are very sensitive. Make sure that they don't catch on to your plans, otherwise they will rebel. Then all of your hopes and dreams for their demise will go to hell. Then they will become suspicious of your intentions and question every motive of yours. That would make your job very difficult to do. That is the last thing that you want them to do and would completely spoil your game.

The main thing to wear away in their being is their foundation. Once that goes, the rest of the building will crumble. Well, prevention is better than the cure. So instead of trying to wrestle their tough and strong moral characters when they are a teenager, don't work to create one in the first place. Do everything you can so that they don't have a personality or a sense of self. This will give you all the power you need over them.
Keep the foundation of their being as weak as possible. To do this, it is important to vaccinate their hearts with a general sense of meaninglessness about life. This way they don't rely on anything else in the world around them other than your guidance. This keeps them weak and mold-able as needed, as your plans change.
Them having a weak character has other benefits as well. It will keep them hyper-alart and instill anxiety in general into their personality. They will be so unsure about themselves and whether they are alright or not. This will give them the shaky foundation is necessary for them to feel weak and insecure. Having this crumbly foundation can hurt them educationally and their career down the road. Failures from both those places can instill a deep feeling of rejection in them. This will be a huge success for you.

If for some reason you weren't far seeing enough to prevent them from having a strong character, all is not lost for you. Even if your child has a strong personality and character, you still don't have to give up hope. Exercise guerrilla tactics. Confuse them. Disorient them. Leave them with no other choice but to surrender to you. That would instill a feeling of defeat in them. And you may want to pop open a champagne bottle and celebrate. Don't. Your job is not done yet. Don't stop working until you have reached your goal. Your goal is for your child to commit suicide. Suicide requires more--much more. Stay focused.  

Remember that your goal is not murder. Murder is easy. Your job is more complicated. It is for your child to voluntarily choose suicide. For this, you have to psychologically wear your child out. They have to feel conflicted enough and feel exhausted enough to be convinced that they have no other option but suicide. This is a tall order. But it is possible, my dear parent. Don't feel you are alone. Don't give up. You can win.

Your child's strong personality and will-power are some of your biggest enemies. They will constantly threaten you. There are ways to wear them out. Refuse to see that your child has the strength to do anything that you would not want them to do. Adopt this tactic and eventually your child will doubt themselves and see themselves as being weak.
For example, never give them any credit for originality. If they show any trace of rebelliousness or having a personality of their own, never give them credit for having the independence to come up with that rebellious idea from  their own volition. Respond by saying, "Oh, so did you learn to act like that from your friends? Did they teach you to talk to your parents in this way?"
Always see a "foreign conspiracy" in it. Refuse to believe that your child has the independent capacity to do anything from their own volition. Always see Satan's (unwanted foreign power) influence behind it. This will wear away their will to rebel against you. Eventually your child will come to doubt themselves.
This tactic worked well for Barry Goldwater, and it can work well for you too. See "foreign communist influences" all over your child. Propagandize and say that these "foreign communist influences" are a disease trying to corrode the health of your family.
When your child rebels against you, always interpret that it is these "powerful foreign communist influences" acting through your child and speaking through them. There may be no "foreign communist influences" what so ever. But that is not the point. You don't really care about "foreign communist influences," really. All you care about is in invalidating your child's resolve to go against your will. You will establish a mood of terror in the house, the same way that Barry Goldwater did.
Always talk to your child like they are a blank slate that can be easily influenced by all around them. Then over-react to this by adopting all kinds of over-protective tactics. It worked for the department of Homeland Security in the United States and it can work for your home too.
No matter how old your child is, talk to your child like they are a brainless puppet who doesn't know what is good for them. See influences of this diseased "foreign" conspiracy all over them. Since there is no direct way to respond to this kind of tactic, eventually your child will come to doubt themselves. It is a great way to invalidate their sense of self. With their independent will-power to make decisions that you wouldn't approve of, out of the way, you can start heaping on the other tactics that will ensure your child will adopt suicide suicide. This fun can be yours. Don't give up hope.

Join a support group of parents on the same mission as you. Learn from them. Better yet, partner up with them. Seek to be their child's confidante to vacuum up all the child's secrets and resentments. Then use it against them.

Take help from your community and society. Purposefully create poor relations in your community so that no one will give your children any support. Intimidate and scare anyone who loves your children. Humiliate them. Make fun of them. Berate, insult and loathe them. Do all of this so that all those that love your children will fear being close to them.

It will help if you are of enviable status. This forms a natural resentment towards your family. Use this energy to your advantage. Use your enemies to torture your children. They will serve you well. They can hurt your children in ways that you can't. Keep your children sandwiched between not being able to look towards you for support while they remain your enemies targets. Your child will keep hoping to get your attention so that they can ask you to protect them. Fearing your enemies, and with no one else to support them will ensure that you have a monopoly on power over them. You consolidating power in this way is important in being able to have a disproportionate influence on your child in pushing them towards your mission.

In torturing your children, don't leave any stone over-turned. Cover all of your bases. Keep people of power in your society close to you. There are people who have a stake in seeing you destroy your children. It makes them feel superior as human beings to see your children's lives destroyed. Pander to them. Use this motivation of theirs in staying well connected with them. Regularly tell them the juicy details of the chaos you are causing in your household. Entertaining them in this way, you will get the license from them to continue to fulfill your mission. Work to make those people proud of you. Your child committing suicide is a Win/Win situation for both of you. You both have a common enemy.

Besides, by being well connected with the people of power, even if your children catch on to your ruse, they can't do anything to stop you in pushing them over the cliff.

If your children try to go on the offensive in fighting against you, the people in power will protect you. If your children catch on to what you're doing, they might try to throw you in the asylum saying that you are an 'abnormal parent.' What nonsense. It is your right and authority as a parent to do this and enjoy it. Exercise it well.
Staying well-connected with people in power will ensure that you have a legal right to pushing your child towards suicide. If you can't, who else should have this right?
If all fails, paint your child's calling you an 'abnormal parent' as a Satanic "foreign" communist influence perpetrated by your enemies. See foreign conspiracies everywhere. This will keep all supporters of your children terrorized.

In making your child feel choiceless, don't leave anything to chance. The devil is in the details, tend to them well. You can't fail with persistence. Best of luck.

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