It is very difficult for me to digest the arrogance of nations that feel that they are more independent than other nations. I have a very difficult time digesting the self-righteousness of nations that feel that they are a law in themselves. That some how Krishna's laws don't apply to them. That they owe no fidelity to all that is around them that is not them. I am amused by this arrogance really. But I can relate to it.
I myself lived that same belief. I believed that I was independent enough not to have to care about Krishna's laws. And what happened? Reality happened.
I guess I wasn't tough enough to be France, America or Germany. I caved to the pressures of accepting Krishna's reality, man. There was only so much that I could take. I had the truth about the nature of this world pressure fucked down my throat. It sucked. And I wanted to vomit. I really did. I wanted to accept that this world was a positive and lovely place like the guy next to me. I wanted to mark off my territory with a 'no fly zone' so that other people's shit wouldn't plough into my territory. But I found out that life doesn't work that way.
It blows. Life sucks. And I wanted to vomit. The bitter truth about the nature of reality in this world is rough and coarse. And I want life to be sweet and sexy. And life and my wants were totally incompatible. It blew. It sucked. It was rough and a lot of gnarly things to digest.
Maybe that is why I am so amused with nations on earth who feel that Krishna's reality doesn't apply to them. I know they feel the heat. I know they feel the pressure, man. This material world is a hot place. And if you can't handle the heat in the kitchen, the only place to go is out of it. While in this material world, everyone is feeling the heat. Everyone is feeling the pressure. And it sucks.
I suppose I'm not tough enough like these great nations on earth to keep living life without believing in Krishna's laws. But then I realize that arrogance and ego are the most natural thing in this material world. The only way I know to develop a big enough ego to digest all that is the shit that life has to offer is by identifying with matter. And quite frankly, that seems like a much bigger price than I want to pay. I seem to do a fair amount of identifying with matter without even trying to.
I admire all those who create big egoes and enjoy the challenge of defending it. It is a beautiful lifestyle in of itself. It can really occupy your attention. It can really give you a sense of purpose. And I really admire all those who find such great meaning in their big egoes. I really do. I envy you to some degree. It's just that I can't seem to enjoy it as much as everyone else in this world. Which sucks really. I want to enjoy the party as much as everybody else is.