Sometimes I think I'm so damned unique that there is no way that I can be myself and make God happy. I am not ready to have a positive relationship with God.
And the amazing thing is that as time goes on, I discover how God is great and no matter how you slice or dice and onion, you still sniff onion. There is no getting away from God no matter how hard we try. He is every where and in everything.
I am not ready to go through a huge hard-core surrendering process and signing my bank-account, my family and the house away. And the cool thing is that Krishna doesn't have a problem with that. He says, where ever you are, whatever you're doing, as long as you're genuinely interested, spirituality is broad enough to reach you.
I feel my individuality constantly threatened by all those people who believe in Krishna who tell me that I can't appreciate God "that way." God doesn't limit himself, why do you limit Him?
The more I am learning about the breadth of Sanatan dharma, it is allowing me to appreciate how broad Krishna is and what are all the ways to appreciate him and his energy. Krishna is amazing. And Sanatan dharma is so scientific and logical. When viewed in context it seems to click together like a puzzle. The whole is greater than the sum of it's parts.
Sanatan dharma is so broad that if you understand of it in context of the Vedas, it encompasses all truths. That is fantastic. That is great for someone like me who doesn't like huge leaps of faith in believing spirituality.
God's creation is an onion. And I am in his creation, so I am in the onion. And which ever way I go sniffing or spinning, all I come in contact with is more God. In that way, I think it is easier to not come in contact with Krishna than to come in contact with him. God is just an intention away. If you intend to love and play with Krishna, you're on. If you don't intend to love and play with Krishna, you're off.
Imagine being in an onion and choosing at every moment whether to sniff it or not forget that you're in an onion.
The separation of living entity to God is an electric charge away. It is the charge of an intention in a moment. Try to capture that in scientific terms. And you can.
I think of the individual soul like a neutron. It is neutral energy. Spirituality is a positive charge. Matter is a negative charge. Yukta-vairagya is the neutron using the negative charge with the power of the positive charge. Deep stuff. But the more you associate with material energy and are seperated from spiritual energy, the more corrosion happens. We get spiritually rusty. All you have to do is a few experiments to realize this.
There is a lot of variety in this onion. There are so many perspectives to appreciate the whole onion. And what I find is that everyone is appreciating this onion in it's own way. Different people are standing in different rings of this onion. There are vertical rings and their are horizontal rings.
You don't even all have to agree that it is an onion to enjoy it. Infact, there are many who don't want to believe in the onion who are enjoying the taste of water. That is an inside joke about the onion. The universal form of Krishna encompasses all of material reality.
We have to stretch our imagination to think of a time place or circumstance where we are not connected with Krishna's creation in anyway. Literally.
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